A Series of Fortunate and Misfortunate Event(s)

So the week got better towards the end. although i just finished emo-ing. i don't know. i honestly think i have a bipolar disorder. i can't wait to be in psychiatry posting because then i'll find out what other mental problems i have and i'm sure i have a bunch of them.

so anyways, yesterday was probably the best day of the entire week. CP with Dr James is probably like one of the most stress free and fun CPs i've had so far. it's just weird to actually ENJOY a CP. like we could actually admit that we weren't any good at reading an ECG. and that 'ECG made easy' book that was SUPPOSEDLY meant to be easy wasn't so easy afterall *rolls eyes* and he taught us how to read one with such simplicity and in an understandable language (definitely NOT gibberish at all)! remember to always look at the aVR lead first. =)

and then TBL was cancelled. YAHOOO!! =)

went dating with Lams that night. despite dr james telling us "transformers can wait ok", we seemed to have thought otherwise. lol. Shia Labeouf CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! right, the raging hormones!


so the 2nd installment has definitely lived up to its predecessor. in fact, a lot of other movies with a 2nd installment usually fail to live up to my expectations especially if the 1st was superbly good. it's got a lot of action in it - from the beginning till the end. as usual, Megan Fox is smokin' hot (as Fir puts it lol). and Shia Labeouf is absolutely irresistible! and he is just so good at what he does! so is John Turturo =)

♥♥♥♥ Optimus Prime and Mojo! =) ahaha..

ok. no spoilers. but it is THE best movie of the year so far. we'll see how Harry Potter and New Moon fairs. looks pretty promising from their trailers. but we'll see. =)

and yes!! THE FRAY'S NEVER SAY NEVER IS FEATURED IN THE FILM! (when shia and meg kissed just before he left for college) and i am so proud! one of my fave fray's song to date.

and so this morning, Pik said something like "hmm my friend sent me an sms and said Michael Jackson died".

i said "haha damn bodoh lah. so fake!"

and Lams and Pik gave me that "oh-my-god-you-did-not-just-say-that-mabel" look.

Lams: it is true!!! didn't you hear the radio on the way here Mabel?!

and im like: =S noooo???!! cos i was playing my favourite cd!

Pik: yes. he just passed away. cardiac arrest.

so people, a lesson to learn ----> LISTEN AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE MORNING NEWS!

i remember that guy. the king of pop. my dad had a HUGEEEE collection of his CDs and LDs (laser discs - when dvds and vcds weren't invented just yet).

the 'thriller' MTV still scared the shit out of me everytime i watch it. not that i intentionally watch it but it just kept playing on the tv and on my dad's LD!

i wouldn't say i'm an ardent fan of his. but his songs definitely did leave a mark with me.

i grew up listening to 'heal the world' and 'we are the world'. i sang them for my kindergarten's concert. i practically ADORE it to bits. even now.

and then there was 'you are not alone' from the 'free willy' soundtrack. i absolutely LOVED it. and i will always do. it is probably one of my favourite MJ songs. =) another 'free willy' soundtrack that i love is 'will you be there' and it is BEAUTIFUL.

then there was 'man in the mirror', 'black or white', 'the way you make me feel'. loved all of them since my pre-adolescent days.

and i remembered using this line "if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change" in one of my english essays for SPM =)

and then i hated him for all the facial surgeries and that hypoxic looking face of his. he was so much more good looking when he was black.

then came a series of child molesting suits filed against him. all those alleged sodomy and raping and god knows what else he has done and that god forsaken Neverland ranch which spelled B-A-N-K-R-U-P-T-C-Y for him. lol. right, i shan't laugh.

despite all these negativities, he is definitely a legend. his songs are great. his 'moonwalk' is the bomb. his dance moves are just incomparable. despite always wearing that same black pants and that white socks and that black shoe and that scrotum-holding dance move. he is the epitome of a successful pop artist/musician. hats off.

his death is a loss for all. a true music artist. an unmatched performer. an icon. a legend. the King of Pop.

rip.

So Much Better!

The day was just great. Wonderful. Almost perfect.

Minus the fact that the weather this morning was pretty gloomy and windy that my bed just seemed to be dragging me back to its arms.

Got my results for EOP today.

Prof Yushak didn't fail me!! =D

OMG!

I could just die of MI.

Loved my results all in all except Fam Med MCQ (that bugger)

God must have loved me =)

Oh Such Crap!

First day of a new posting

First day of the week

First day after such a blissful holiday which was oh so short lived

First day in oh so scary + psychotic internal med

First day waking up half an hour before class with a 10 minute drive to uni

First day i turned my alarm off and the handphone did not ring after that

First day Willie and i flew (almost) on the highway

First day not having breakfast before class

First day being scared shitless by ho wai

First day presenting the first case of the posting to prof

First day being really REALLY scared shitless

REALLY REALLY REALLY scared shitless!

And so it was a bad bad bad bad BAD BAD way to start a new week and a new posting.

How much more terrible can my luck get.

21 Wishes For That 21st Birthday!

1. Westlife Live at Croke Park Stadium DVD
2. The Fray's new album- self titled
3. Westlife and twilight personalized t-shirt
4. Westlife autobiography book
5. Just anything that spells W-E-S-T-L-I-F-E and T-W-I-L-I-G-H-T
6. Ipod (so that i can play tap tap too LOL)
7. That Nichii black dress that i love ("M" size please!)
8. An external hard disk for my zillions of songs and movies in my comp
9. New headphones
10. PS3
11. That braided, gold coloured hairband from Diva
12. That pretty green dress Serena Van Der Woodsen wore for Waldorf Designs
13. All other pretty dresses?
14. All other pretty shoes??
15. All other pretty hairbands???
16. All other pretty accessories????
17. A zillion Wondermilk cupcakes!
18. A zillion Krispy Kremes!!
19. Tubs of Haagen Daz!!!
20. A kiss from EDWARD CULLEN
21. To have a wonderful and memorable time with my family and beloved friends =)

Get your asses up and start working on it people!!! =D

You know i'd love you forever! =)

Oh! and i forgot! Please add to that 21 list of gifts a Rascal Flatts new album too, titled "Unstoppable".

Thank you thank you! You know i'd be forever in your debts =) *kisses*

The Heart Knows It Best

Optimism doesn't quite exist in my vocabulary right now.

I could've done so much better.

If only i was given another case rather than just plain, old, simple "acute appendicitis". Right, tell me it's the easiest case you could ever get and that i should be getting an A for it and i swear to god i'd just shoot myself to death.

Even for the theory papers, i know i could've done better. I should've listened to that little voice inside my head and follow my not-so-confident little heart. They're just somehow, always right!

I think Lams is right. I want to pass. But then again, i want to pass comfortably. i don't want to get a C although that it's also like passing but bordernline-ly! =( I just hope it's enough for a B.

Then again, no use crying over spilled milk. Maybe i should've been more focused. maybe i should've mugged more. the word "mug" already annoys the hell out of me.

Maybe it's my short attention span these days. maybe it's the constant distraction here. (like wat??!! distraction in seremban??!!! quote ho wai LOL)

Or just maybe, i'm plain stupid. It's crude and harsh. but then again, i think i might just need to face reality. oh that smack in my face!

i think i just need to suck it up lah. *sigh* and look forward to going home in like an hour??!! LOLLLLL can't wait.

Home cooked food, beloved bed and pink room, beloved LCD tv, beloved astro, beloved couch, beloved aunts and uncles, beloved niece!!, beloved car, beloved home, beloved friends!!! like oh my god i can't wait anymore! and definitely mum and dad, king and queen of my heart =)

HOME SWEET HOME!! =)

SCREW YOU EXAMS!!!

The Living And The Dead

Maybe it's my period. Maybe it's the dysmenorrhea. Maybe its the pimple that pops out so annoyingly at every change in my hormonal cycle each month.

I don't feel alive. I don't feel like i'm here. I'm beginning to feel like i'm losing myself in the midst of this fervent heat of worrying but not doing anything about it at all. I can feel the walls closing in on me like a wave of messed up thoughts just suffocating me.

And i'm falling off the edge.

Stoned.

One Step Closer

Just a few random things running through my mind right now:

1. i'm amazed (again!) at how the weekend isn't like a weekend at all

2. it's already Sunday

3. i'm still such a bum

4. 3 summaries and 1 report to finish up. that bloody thing!

5. exam in 2 weeks time - procrastination is the only word in my dictionary

6. still feel stupid and incompetent

7. kara dioguardi's 'strangers and angels' is damn good!

8. my limbs and stomach still ache from friday's yoga class with ho wai and pei

9. i am NOT thinking of the idiot

10. i feel like i'm getting heavier

11. i wished my holidays have started too

12. planning to go to King's College London for electives - pray for me!

13. wondering what's surin bringing back for dinner

14. watched a cinderella's story for the 1000th time last night

15. kar how's starting work tomorrow!

16. andrew graduated already! and i'm sorry i didn't know earlier =(

17. it's been 6 weeks since i last went home

18. no. 17 is an amazing feat! darn proud =)

19. miss mum and dad so much ♥♥♥

20. miss good food back in penang!

21. miss sooi, diana, cat, mei and everyone back home. can't wait to see routheng and cho when they get back!

22. can't wait to be home sweet home =)

I Bruise Easily

Remember the last I let you out
You got hurt
You were bruised
And you never really healed?
Just like every now and then
The edges of water drown you in
And as you suffer the silent consequence
Who knew but that voice that says "i told you so"
You know all that can consume you
And i hope you know what you should do
And i have to keep you safe
Away from the weathering pain
Into that little grey closet
Until you are ready for it again..

The Good Things That Happen

It's the weekend again!

*confetti*

Yes, you might have noticed by now that ever since surgery posting started, i've been only looking forward to the weekends, despite it always being oh-so-very-short-lived. It's not that i don't enjoy surgery, but it's more like i feel the need to relax and rewind and do absolutely nothing at all after the first 3 days of the week because monday tuesday and wednesday are hell-like every other week.

*rolls eyes*

anyways, this week has been pretty fun. thursday was really good!! =D firstly, i managed to follow Prof Ramesh into his paeds clinic at SOPD (surgical ourpatient department) and it was a mind-blowing experience altogether. Learnt alot, saw alot and i just absolutely love kids! There was this little boy who couldn't stop crying because he was just so scared to be examined and all the kicking and punching acts didn't make it any easier to convince him that all that we were gonna do was to just have a look. And even after we took a look at his little tummy, he just refused to be quiet. And me being such an angel and very magical (LOL), took out a packet of biscuits from my utterly heavy labcoat, and gave it to him. My god, the magical touch of a biscuit! =D He just went silent and smiled!!! =) THAT, that that that, just melted my heart...and i asked him if he likes biscuits and he said yes and smiled =) and i asked if he'd eat them and he nodded fervently =D

Sara and i just have this INSANE love for babies and kids. She's more of babies and i'm both. LOL. And today, we went to Obs and Gyn ward 1B with Fen and our eyes just went goo goo the minute we saw the little babies there =) We wanna be preggy too!!! LOL and i wana have babies like NOWWWW!!! =D Sperm donation please??? lolll

then on thursday, me, hw, kw, lams, maya, sara, wawa, and mich drove all the way to kl, to times square to buy KRISPY KREME!! i can assure you they're the best doughnuts you'd ever get and they're wayyyy better than JCo and Big Apple. IMHO, honey glazed is the best! =D




it was hw's crazy little idea to go down and since we didn't have much going on today, we decided we shall take a break from all the madness. and then we went to My Elephant in PJ for thai food. and it was really really good! totally worth every cent. and then we went to this cake shop which served this wonderful layered cakes! the vanilla crepes and strawberry crepes were my favourite! =D take me there again hw!!! just take me!! =D lol

loved thursday =)

today, my cousin sister sent me this:

That's zoe and her little sis =) This, completed my week ♥♥♥♥♥

Love Love Love!

Totally love this vid. Miss watching Centre Stage so much!! And that red leotard and pointes!! Gasp!!!

I Did It My Way

If there is one thing in the world that i hate most, it would be to have someone (or more still, a friend) talking behind my back. well i guess that says a lot about that friend, ain't it?

i know i'm not much of a grown up myself. but i'm sure i ain't that childish either.

you see, that's the problem.

I know i come off as some silly, psychotic, innocent child to a lot of people. (ok, maybe innocent is a bit of an over statement LOL). people just think that i'm some spoiled, pampered, immature girl that they really don't take me seriously most of the time. well, kw called me a toy. "squashable" he says. nice.

*shakes head + rolls eyes*

but beneath that bubbly, cheerful, silly little facade, i know who i am, i know where i come from, i know what i want, and what's more, i know who i want to be.

i don't like to be pushed around. i don't like to be called names. who does anyway. i'm only human. so are we all. respect is a virtue. learn it. practice it.

anyways, i'm glad i got it off my chest. never felt more relieved. and for once, i stood up for myself. i took a chance. i made my statement. and i cannot have been more proud of myself.

He knows..

We had a lot at hand yesterday. went to the hospital at 630 am. 630 am! 630 friggin' am! and i was just talking to cho the night before (after soooooo long!) and i remembered i got really upset over the fact that they go to the hospital at 9am.

*growls*

Anyways, we were really tired the whole day through yesterday. we being me, lams, sara, hw, kw and maya. yes, the car pool gang =) the lack of sleep is really getting to us. no one, i repeat, NO ONE, should ever EVER try not sleeping. seriously. and one main reason why we were all so stressed out yesterday was because we had to cover the whole ward for cp today. and you know it's not always that easy to go up to a patient and start asking him questions while at the same time you try to be nice and add in a little bit of humour every now and then so as to not make you look that mechanical. and they're always sleeping so you obviously can't just wake them up! =( and we had to be on-call that night. ZZzzZ!

so we were all gloomy and glum. and i got this terrible news late in the evening that i swear i could just burn up a whole building. and i just kept swearing and swearing in the car! LOL

and then, a good news came. and it made all the difference in the world. i didn't need to worry about cp today. i needn't stay that long for on-call last night. i could rejoice. i could shriek and scream with joy. and that piece of cloud above our heads for the whole day just disappeared! and the four of us just couldn't stop smiling =) and it's just weird that at that lowest point of my day, things just seem to turn out the other way round. a 180 degrees of change. and i can't thank my lucky stars enough.

*sigh*

so much of drama in our lives.

whoever said doctors have no life?

It Never Ends

Ok..so the last i updated was a week after beginning my surgery posting. so any idiot could've guessed how busy the last week was. not that it's any more relaxing now but i think my blog needs a little bit of an update after all that has happened. not that anything much has happened though LOL. right, tell me i'm rambling...

Well, surgery is.......surgery. lol. it is still as busy. still as tiring. already starting to get bored (nothing seems to please me these days *sigh*). i have survived ward 3A which is a REMARKABLE ACHIEVEMENT. do ask me why. and now i'm in 3B =) into week 3 of surgery currently, with only 4 more to go, which means i'm a month away from end of posting exams.

*shrieks*

the weekend was a little more enjoyable. all thanks to ho wai =D he invited us to his birthday party at asian heritage row. and the place was great. the food was fabuloso! and the photos can do the talking *grins*


Me and the birthday boy =) love this shot cos it makes me look thin *wheee*

that's just....LOL. me. and my utterly sinful cake.

and everyone =D

case presentation tomorrow. with on-call. yawns! will i ever get enough of rest?! weekends seem to just end in a blink of an eye these days. it's weird. like i had no weekend at all. looking forward to going home already. sigh. in another 4 weeks.

*pouts*

Survivors!

YESSSS!! we survived the first week of surgery! OH MY GOD!! i feel that sense of achievement running through my veins at this very moment. definitely. =)

i only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night. and trust me, i am mentally and physically exhausted and drained that i have a terrible headache now (i think i have cluster headache and maybe tension headache too lol) and that i wish i could just sink into my comfy bed right at this very moment. but of course, i am at the airport right now, waiting to go home! and get all the princess treatment and spa and massage from mum back home =D

i had so much of homework to do last night and was so terrified and nervous about whether or not i would have another panic CP session today so i had to make sure i had my homework done. and there was tbl today! and we had no case to present! but thank god for fen's case =) and there's this whole looooong chapter on testicular/scrotal and inguinal swelling that i have to read off from burkitt's today. sigh!! and i woke up being really grumpy and groggy.. GRRR!

and today!! today was really interesting. again, the patients are the ones that make our day a little more worthwhile and fulfilling. they make me believe that i actually really do enjoy and love doing medicine. and that they're the reason why i'm doing this.

my patient from monday got discharged today and i am feeling so ecstatic for him. he was really sick for the past 3 days and was in so much of pain, depressed and down. and i feel really terrible because all i could do is just to talk to him and try to convince him that everything will be alright. and so after his operation yesterday, he is finally a free man now! =D i have never seen him smile so widely before. and i am really happy. TRULY.

my other patient from monday was admitted again last night. but doc says he could be discharged today too. and we were just talking about everything under the sun, from his girlfriend to his work. and i really enjoyed it. COMPLETELY =)

and oh oh! i saw how the HO set up the central venous pressure (CVP) today! it was tedious! you gotta have the skills! =S and that HO who managed to do it is officially my idol now =DD

loved today. maybe i'm actually starting to like surgery. i think i just might. =)

flight's here! home sweet home!

A Glimpse Into The Future

I think i'd finally know what it feels like to be a house officer or a medical officer in the next 4 years that is to come. i have never felt so much of pain in my legs and such horrible backache! walking up and down the stairs in imu everyday to the hospital really isn't a joke. 5 floors ok!! freaking tiring! my thighs were already aching and my feet already in so much of agony on the first day of my surgery posting. just great. bring in more of 'em please! i'm begging! NOTTT!!

other than being in pain from head to toe and acting like i'm some 80 year old granny, i had my first on-call on monday itself. going to the hospital at night is so much of fun. i mean not that it is fun being on-call, but rather the fact that it ain't so hot and there're less people. =D and it is so much easier talking to the patients during the night cos they're really probably bored. LOL. but i actually really enjoyed it! weird i know! but i think i like being on-call. =D

and today! i had my very first case presentation (CP)! my very first in my entire life. ok. maybe since i started clinical school lah. please do ask me which lecturer i got. =D i am generally quite satisfied with myself =) despite being really nervous =) and do tell me how proud you are of me LOLL =D

and today, we learnt about basic suturing techniques. i think even the lecturer was really frustrated with me. i can't tie a reef knot!! and i feel so dumb. LOL. then again, i don't really fancy instruments. bahh!

plus! i'm going home tomorrow! =D and yes, thank you kw for fetching me there. you know i'd be forever grateful lol.

Goodbye Fam Med, Go Away Surgery!

Exams ended. OSCE was ok. Just ok. Not that i did really well and all. I have no clinical correlation! I just want to pass. That's all i'm ever asking for.

*sobs!* =(

Then we went for Kajang satay! =D


We're all in denial currently. we're all procrastinating over the fact that fam med has officially ended and that we're starting surgery posting tomorrow already.

I DON'T LIKE IT!! I DON'T WANT TO GO!! =(


Bye bye fam med. I will miss you =(

The Papayas And Bananas

You have no idea how embarrassed i was today at the clinic. Sigh.

I was being chased out from the TANDAS PEREMPUAN BY A MANNNN!!!!

Geee i never knew things work the opposite here in seremban.

So my bladder was calling, i dashed into the toilet and looked at each empty cubicle to check out which one was clean. And out comes a malay man, who said to me,

"OI INI TANDAS LELAKI LAHHH!!!"

And i just stoned there. and i'm like WTF??!

I scrambled out quickly after freezing for 5 seconds. I looked at the sign outside the toilet. It says, in RED,

"TANDAS PEREMPUAN"

with the stupid-doll-in-skirt-girl picture laughing mentally at my face.

So i told him,

"eh tidak lah. ini tandas perempuan??!"

"tak lahhh.. ini lelaki!"

And all the aunties passing by had to lend their support to the opposite gender. Betrayer! GRrr!

I hurried to the "actual" tandas perempuan and finished my business. Lams was laughing at me. LOL. So did everyone. =(

I think this only happens to people like me. I have no idea why. Sigh!

Bills Bills Bills

I paid my bills today! =) Me me me me me!

Mum and dad usually do that. So i'm glad/not-so-glad that it's me this time around for my place here in seremban. Teeehee ;)

Sorry it's a little random LOL

The Museum!

I hardly visit my own state's museum. In fact i've only ever been there once in my entire 20 years at home. Even then, it was my kindergarten's day trip to the museum whoohoo! with my little buddies and all =) And i remembered we went to mcdonald's after that LOL. And i took a pic with my dear, dead and old Francis Light =D

Visited our CFCS patient yesterday. Breakfast was at some Mambau Nasi Lemak which apparently was supposed to be really famous and good. I thought it was ok. Penang has better ones LOL. Sorry Ru Fah =P

Then we decided to drop by the museum before visiting our patient's place since it was still rather early. Mannnn...the museum sucked!! It looks really huge from the outside but at the same time, i find it rather empty on the inside. It was plain boring! Thank god there isn't any entrance fees.

I wouldn't visit it the second time round definitely. ZZZzzzZ!

I Love Fam Med! ♥♥♥

Exclude all exams and physical examinations and history takings and all stress-inducing stuff, family medicine is really so much of fun to be in. I am truly, madly and deeply in love with it. It's probably one of those completely relaxing posting one will ever get to be in throughout clinical school. And i'm so grateful to have to be starting with it first.

I enjoy clinic teachings, i enjoy being in the treatment room observing and performing wound dressings, i get a thrill out of being in the dark room of the x-ray department (you literally become blind in there), i enjoy lectures with dr. loh, i LOVE LOVE LOVE school health, i just enjoy the heaps of free time that we get as compared to the others!


That's all of us just before tbl. Love my group!

Lams, Maya, Ho Wai and i went to one of the schools here in seremban the other day and i absolutely enjoyed it. I got to perform immunization for the form3 kids (the boys were such a whimp!!) and i got to do physical examination on them (no scrotal or testes examination ok..) and i just love it!

At the school. The man does not how to take a pic. Tsk!

And that's me drawing on the board the faces of each of us =) I know i look like some lecturer LOL


Fr left to right: Lameena, Crown Princess Me (maya thinks it looked more like a nurses' hat that silly goose LOL), Maya, Yee Wei, Sara, Khine, Aishah, Husna and Su Ping with the Harrison's book =D

These are the boys, fr left to right: Ho Wai our boss, Kah Weng (note his scruffy, unkempt hair: he doesn't comb them), Sundar (the bangla lorry man from nepal who has exolphthalmus LOLL), Kim Long, Jeremy and Firdaus!


That's me with Ru Fah's car. LOL.

It's all coming to an end soon. Another 3 more weeks including this week. Sad!! Next would be surgery. Wish it never have to end! I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Fam Med!