back again!

 and it's back again! :) the world cup! 4 years ago it ended on a uber high note for me. even though england didn't win it but i thought it was a good season. a lot of drama as well. more drama this time around please! :D and i actually think south africa is a pretty good place to host it. so much of culture!

and yes, i am stil rooting for england i don't care what you people say. oh so you think you know football very well? you know every player very well? BITE ME. duh.

 my 2nd team is germany. oh hearts! :)

don't think i'll be able to catch much of it this year. no astro here. tv 1 sucks :( and then i'll be going off to uk. not south africa :( gahh!

anyways, GO ENGLAND! ♥

9 more days to go. 9 more days to living a dream that i've waited long enough for :) and i can't wait any longer. but time's running up. i need to finish this race first. gahh!

but i won't let anyone put me down. mum's coming today! miss her too much. and mich my love is coming back soon! can't wait to see her! :D

You fell in love with someone because of the tilt of his smile, or because he could make you laugh, or in this case, because he made you believe you were the only one who could save him.

-Jodi Picoult, Picture Perfect-

i know i can do this without you. even if it means i need to break myself a little, pain a little, i know i can. i know i will. because the fact is, i've been without you for some time now. it's just that i fall back into you everytime you feel like holding me close. i gave in too easily. gave in to your every call. i am stupid, i know. even when it's obvious that my efforts and everything that i do have not been reciprocated, i still insist on giving. but now i have nothing else to offer. nothing else to give. i have given everything. it's always just words for you. never an action. i'm starting to hate myself for having to repeat it over and over again.

i just need to pick myself up. learn to live my days not having you near and here. i know i will be better off without you. i now know what i want, what i need. someone who can make me a better person and lifts me up. and that is and will not be you.

so just take me as your friend. respect me for the person i am. or at least for the little things i have done. and if even that is not worth it, then just take me as a person. i won't always be on-call for you. and someday, soon, i will stop missing you.

my heart used to flutter and beat stronger everytime i see you. everytime you're near. but today, when i saw you, it only lay still. and silent. it no longer knows you...

what happens when you find out the truth? the one that leaves you empty to the core. when it was all bitter and sweet at the same time. you don't know if you'd want to hate that person or to feel grateful. where does this end?

then again, it doesn't mean anything anymore now, does it?

today i managed to set 2 iv lines PURRRFECTLY. haha. :) oh the joy!

and that stupid brainless "fullmoon" medical officer hasn't been around for ages. wished he got transferred out or something. but i don't know why MOs can't be nice. not all, but some. rolls eyes.

anyways yay! :)