Life and its many choices

I can't believe it's coming to an end. Two years of housemanship in a blink of an eye. So much gained, and so much lost. I do think that after all these, I am truly getting older by the day. I know we're not even doing a 36 hour call anymore, the most I have now is a 24 hour. And yet, I come home zombified after all the madness. Even working from 8-5 on a non night shift day makes me feel like an aunty every evening. Ok so who am I kidding, I'm 25! Pfft. And I'd think that after going through this various postings, I'd have figure out what I'd like to further in. But no, I am still stuck after all these years. Then again, sometimes I do think that I don't even want to do this at all. Medicine. Am I even cut out for this shit seriously. Sometimes I just don't care why patients have low phosphate levels, or why are they shitting black stools. And I'm so angry with myself that I know if I was given a choice again, I would most likely have chosen something else. But then again I wouldn't know what else to do in the first place! Fml. So where to go from here?