Survivors!

YESSSS!! we survived the first week of surgery! OH MY GOD!! i feel that sense of achievement running through my veins at this very moment. definitely. =)

i only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night. and trust me, i am mentally and physically exhausted and drained that i have a terrible headache now (i think i have cluster headache and maybe tension headache too lol) and that i wish i could just sink into my comfy bed right at this very moment. but of course, i am at the airport right now, waiting to go home! and get all the princess treatment and spa and massage from mum back home =D

i had so much of homework to do last night and was so terrified and nervous about whether or not i would have another panic CP session today so i had to make sure i had my homework done. and there was tbl today! and we had no case to present! but thank god for fen's case =) and there's this whole looooong chapter on testicular/scrotal and inguinal swelling that i have to read off from burkitt's today. sigh!! and i woke up being really grumpy and groggy.. GRRR!

and today!! today was really interesting. again, the patients are the ones that make our day a little more worthwhile and fulfilling. they make me believe that i actually really do enjoy and love doing medicine. and that they're the reason why i'm doing this.

my patient from monday got discharged today and i am feeling so ecstatic for him. he was really sick for the past 3 days and was in so much of pain, depressed and down. and i feel really terrible because all i could do is just to talk to him and try to convince him that everything will be alright. and so after his operation yesterday, he is finally a free man now! =D i have never seen him smile so widely before. and i am really happy. TRULY.

my other patient from monday was admitted again last night. but doc says he could be discharged today too. and we were just talking about everything under the sun, from his girlfriend to his work. and i really enjoyed it. COMPLETELY =)

and oh oh! i saw how the HO set up the central venous pressure (CVP) today! it was tedious! you gotta have the skills! =S and that HO who managed to do it is officially my idol now =DD

loved today. maybe i'm actually starting to like surgery. i think i just might. =)

flight's here! home sweet home!

A Glimpse Into The Future

I think i'd finally know what it feels like to be a house officer or a medical officer in the next 4 years that is to come. i have never felt so much of pain in my legs and such horrible backache! walking up and down the stairs in imu everyday to the hospital really isn't a joke. 5 floors ok!! freaking tiring! my thighs were already aching and my feet already in so much of agony on the first day of my surgery posting. just great. bring in more of 'em please! i'm begging! NOTTT!!

other than being in pain from head to toe and acting like i'm some 80 year old granny, i had my first on-call on monday itself. going to the hospital at night is so much of fun. i mean not that it is fun being on-call, but rather the fact that it ain't so hot and there're less people. =D and it is so much easier talking to the patients during the night cos they're really probably bored. LOL. but i actually really enjoyed it! weird i know! but i think i like being on-call. =D

and today! i had my very first case presentation (CP)! my very first in my entire life. ok. maybe since i started clinical school lah. please do ask me which lecturer i got. =D i am generally quite satisfied with myself =) despite being really nervous =) and do tell me how proud you are of me LOLL =D

and today, we learnt about basic suturing techniques. i think even the lecturer was really frustrated with me. i can't tie a reef knot!! and i feel so dumb. LOL. then again, i don't really fancy instruments. bahh!

plus! i'm going home tomorrow! =D and yes, thank you kw for fetching me there. you know i'd be forever grateful lol.

Goodbye Fam Med, Go Away Surgery!

Exams ended. OSCE was ok. Just ok. Not that i did really well and all. I have no clinical correlation! I just want to pass. That's all i'm ever asking for.

*sobs!* =(

Then we went for Kajang satay! =D


We're all in denial currently. we're all procrastinating over the fact that fam med has officially ended and that we're starting surgery posting tomorrow already.

I DON'T LIKE IT!! I DON'T WANT TO GO!! =(


Bye bye fam med. I will miss you =(

The Papayas And Bananas

You have no idea how embarrassed i was today at the clinic. Sigh.

I was being chased out from the TANDAS PEREMPUAN BY A MANNNN!!!!

Geee i never knew things work the opposite here in seremban.

So my bladder was calling, i dashed into the toilet and looked at each empty cubicle to check out which one was clean. And out comes a malay man, who said to me,

"OI INI TANDAS LELAKI LAHHH!!!"

And i just stoned there. and i'm like WTF??!

I scrambled out quickly after freezing for 5 seconds. I looked at the sign outside the toilet. It says, in RED,

"TANDAS PEREMPUAN"

with the stupid-doll-in-skirt-girl picture laughing mentally at my face.

So i told him,

"eh tidak lah. ini tandas perempuan??!"

"tak lahhh.. ini lelaki!"

And all the aunties passing by had to lend their support to the opposite gender. Betrayer! GRrr!

I hurried to the "actual" tandas perempuan and finished my business. Lams was laughing at me. LOL. So did everyone. =(

I think this only happens to people like me. I have no idea why. Sigh!

Bills Bills Bills

I paid my bills today! =) Me me me me me!

Mum and dad usually do that. So i'm glad/not-so-glad that it's me this time around for my place here in seremban. Teeehee ;)

Sorry it's a little random LOL

The Museum!

I hardly visit my own state's museum. In fact i've only ever been there once in my entire 20 years at home. Even then, it was my kindergarten's day trip to the museum whoohoo! with my little buddies and all =) And i remembered we went to mcdonald's after that LOL. And i took a pic with my dear, dead and old Francis Light =D

Visited our CFCS patient yesterday. Breakfast was at some Mambau Nasi Lemak which apparently was supposed to be really famous and good. I thought it was ok. Penang has better ones LOL. Sorry Ru Fah =P

Then we decided to drop by the museum before visiting our patient's place since it was still rather early. Mannnn...the museum sucked!! It looks really huge from the outside but at the same time, i find it rather empty on the inside. It was plain boring! Thank god there isn't any entrance fees.

I wouldn't visit it the second time round definitely. ZZZzzzZ!

I Love Fam Med! ♥♥♥

Exclude all exams and physical examinations and history takings and all stress-inducing stuff, family medicine is really so much of fun to be in. I am truly, madly and deeply in love with it. It's probably one of those completely relaxing posting one will ever get to be in throughout clinical school. And i'm so grateful to have to be starting with it first.

I enjoy clinic teachings, i enjoy being in the treatment room observing and performing wound dressings, i get a thrill out of being in the dark room of the x-ray department (you literally become blind in there), i enjoy lectures with dr. loh, i LOVE LOVE LOVE school health, i just enjoy the heaps of free time that we get as compared to the others!


That's all of us just before tbl. Love my group!

Lams, Maya, Ho Wai and i went to one of the schools here in seremban the other day and i absolutely enjoyed it. I got to perform immunization for the form3 kids (the boys were such a whimp!!) and i got to do physical examination on them (no scrotal or testes examination ok..) and i just love it!

At the school. The man does not how to take a pic. Tsk!

And that's me drawing on the board the faces of each of us =) I know i look like some lecturer LOL


Fr left to right: Lameena, Crown Princess Me (maya thinks it looked more like a nurses' hat that silly goose LOL), Maya, Yee Wei, Sara, Khine, Aishah, Husna and Su Ping with the Harrison's book =D

These are the boys, fr left to right: Ho Wai our boss, Kah Weng (note his scruffy, unkempt hair: he doesn't comb them), Sundar (the bangla lorry man from nepal who has exolphthalmus LOLL), Kim Long, Jeremy and Firdaus!


That's me with Ru Fah's car. LOL.

It's all coming to an end soon. Another 3 more weeks including this week. Sad!! Next would be surgery. Wish it never have to end! I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Fam Med!

Dumb And Dumber

i am depressed. i am suicidal. i am disappointed. i am mad. i am raging. i am furious. i am angry. i am sad. i am tearing. i am breaking. i am crumbling. i am losing myself. i am stupid. i am dumb.

i honestly do think that this is all too good for me. that i do not deserve to be here. i am below par. i am terrible at what i do. i do not know if i am competent enough. i do not know if i'd make it through.

i don't know if i'd be a good doctor.