Work and Work. Oh Groans!

kar how made fun of my blog the other day. He said huifang no longer comments on my chatbox and no one else comments on it too because i've been terribly emotional that they no longer know what to tell or say to me. LOL. FUNNNYYYYY!

anyways that was random.

one week back in penang and i've been hit by some gross bugs. the diarrhea bug, the soarthroat bug and the flu bug. must be the laksa. and must be the H1N1 kids i play with in the wards. lol. yes, stay away from me :D

other than being sick at home, i have never once worked so much in my life during the holidays. ok, it's somewhat a short holiday nonetheless (yes, medically related people don't have holidays so shut up). summaries and reports due next friday?! seriously, they just want to suck the final breath of life out of you. 5 summaries and 2 reports due. it's taking me ages to do it. mum asked me "how is it that i see you doing it every day and night and yet you're still doing it even after 7 days of working on it?!" and i'm like "yes i wished i had a shortcut too". and i remember telling surin that everytime i typed a line in either my summary or report, i imagine dr cheah's face cringing and i see him crumpling my papers and dumping it into the bin. i don't know why but it's just this time in paeds that i have such horrid, yet vivid visualizations. LOL.

took some time off dim-summing with kar. despite already feeling weird with my stomach growling. seriously, that ungrateful guy. AHAHA. but yes, he bought me 'tis by frank mccourt! been waiting for it for ages! =D thanks kar =) and yes, our awkwardly weird social outting. don't mention. DON'T.


and wedding dinner with sooi. =) loved it NOT because of her cousin brother getting married but because she's there. LOL. and some certain good looking guy that we both secretly like. LOL. =D



anyways, it's tomorrow. sigh. another week. another week in hell. ok more like forever in hell. shucks. goodnite world. see you in seremban. BAHHHH!!

I Don't Know You Anymore

and yes it is true when they say that there is a reason for everything that has happened.

so true.

and that there's a reason why at some point of your life, some people leave and some, they stay.

i think i've witnessed that enough for myself and it had to take me so long to realize the value of this.

i think i'm more appreciative of the people i have in my life right now. NOT that i don't usually do. but i do MORE now. teehee =D

it's sad to see someone who was once your friend change into something that you don't know anymore. that feeling of helplessness to see him plunge into that deep dark abyss. and all you can do is to wish him well in all and yes, better still, wished we didn't ever have to meet again. EVER. or talk. or msn. it is sad.

so yes, there is a reason to why we didn't ever workout. i'd be damned. can't thank my lucky stars enough ? :)

and for a moment, the current "he" is so much better than the previous "he". i just suddenly feel the need to appreciate him more. and then stop demanding all the things i demanded from him since 2 months ago. LOL. and then i shall compromise :)

♥ i miss him more ♥

Pointless

you asked me what was wrong

and i told you

but it wouldn't make any difference

because you don't make me feel better

because you don't care

because you don't ever attempt to amend it

so don't

just don't.

Weekend Marathon!

Whoohoo! me in kl. me in kl. me in kl. :)

heading to my favourite porridge place now. sooi is taking ages to get ready. TSK

and then to SHAWWWWPINNGGGGG!!!

and then to eat.

and then to SHAWWWWWPINNGGG..

and then to eat.

and then hopefully wondermilk :)

i love malaysia.

ok maybe not afterall theyve done to me.

maybe just today :D

2 months

today is the 12th.

it has been 2 months since then.

and again, no progress.

no answer.

nothing.

you don't ever care, do you?

and you don't ever remember.

with you, it's always about evading the whole situation and problem that is staring right at our bloody faces.

and you choose to ignore.

it's ok.

i just give up.

i just need the right time.

the courage to make that decision that is what's best for me.

even if it meant losing you.

i'd rather be losing you now, than to lose you forever.

i want you.

but i need to let you go.

i need to let me go.

i'd rather us be the best of friends, than to end up being away from each others' lives.

i don't want that for us.

i don't want that for me.

help.

Pull That Trigger

just take it all.

take it!

there is nothing left.

or shoot me.

i am bleeding.

Away..

today i feel like we're growing apart.

drifting away from each other.

i don't know if it's just me.

or if it's real.

or it's our busy schedule.

i miss him.

First Week Down!

paeds has been fun so far. 4 more weeks to go. part of me can't wait to finish it. part of me loves being around these kids. and oh! today, there's this 1 year old girl whom i walked pass in the ward as i was entering, so i waved at her. guess what she did? :D ahaha. SHE FROWNED AT ME!!! lol. she really did. and it was really a frown! so cute :) of course, i talked to the mother later and played with her then. she couldn't stop playing with my pens and couldn't stop saying "pooh" after looking at the winnie the pooh bears in the cupboard opposite her bed. :D and she let me carry her! :)

made my day that girl.

and it's KL this weekend! to see Sooi. and have fun. and eat. and go to places.

and then mum dad popping by again this weekend. don't ask me why. because i am not interested in my dad's frenzy with his car.

so yes, currently waiting for kw to come back and go go go go go!!!!! :D

toodles :)

Better :)

today's a much better day.

sunny.

bright.

less gloomy.

still enjoyed clerking patients with the ho.

miss giggling and laughing loudly and being disgusting and perved with the pik! oh my, the noise!

miss going dinner with the pik and kw and surin.

today improved :)

ps: a paediatrician was so funny today. she said to the patient whose child was being placed on a man-made "buaian" which was basically a piece of cloth tied on both ends to both the ends of the bed with "tali rafia",

"wah letak bayi macam ini ah. nanti "pom!". LOL. banyak inovasi juga ah. LOL."

ok, only me and the ho would laugh. kw didn't get us. HAHAHA. yes, that complete retard. :)

today was very much better. i was myself. at least more. :)

Where Is The Love?

i am utterly disgusted. utterly embarrassed. speechless.

wonder when did malaysians get so low. OH SO VERY LOW.

IMO, there is no solid and valid reason that would justify such an act.

Walked Under a Bus, Got Hit by a Train

this is gonna be really hard.

i mean really.

things cannot get any more undesirable and distorted and twisted and evil and unfair.

that comfy zone is long gone.

still i crave and yearn for it every minute every second.

rewind. rewind. rewind. rewind. rewind.