So near yet so far

I remember the day when our eyes first met. When you first smiled across the table at me and offered me a piece of tissue (cheesy really, but that got you the girl, didn't it?) I've known you all my life, it's amazing how we met again on that one beautiful day.

What I love about you? They say you don't need any valid reason to love someone. I don't have them all listed down either.

I love you for your patience and kindness. You have showered me with these two qualities that you possess so freely for the last 3 years and I could not be anymore grateful to God for having sent you into my life. The last 3 years wouldn't have been the same without your presence. I may not have been the best girlfriend in the world. I know I've been a pain in the ass royal highness since the dawn of time and yet, you've found ways to put up with all my madness. Not only with my horrible, demanding ways, you've also been utterly patient with my work and my crazy schedule. For that, I'd be eternally grateful and I cannot have felt more blessed in my life.

We talked about getting married and building a family together. Having kids and growing old, holding each others hands as we take our last stroll at the park. Ive always wanted that so much, so badly for the two of us. I didn't know how badly I wanted us to work out until then. It's amazing how much we've been through together and how much we've grown as individuals as well. I know I've learnt so much from you. I don't know if I had that much to offer you, but I hoped I've helped you to grow not only side ways, but much more as a person.

I guess we both know it wasn't a bed of roses either. The past 3 years have been a battle, not only with ourselves but the social circumstances that haunted us. Mum has been the biggest factor as to why we couldn't always hangout like normal couples do. And also part of the reason why our relationship Is always stuck at where it is. It's funny because i actually do seem to get where she's coming from and part of me does want the things she wants for me - someone stable and secure
financially, and generally a good man who would love me just as much as I love him and who's able to take care of me and the kids for the rest of our lives. You are a good man, I have never doubted you. But I guess we both know where our problem is. I am here, and you're there. I've tried baby, believe me I've tried when I said we'd give us a chance. Somehow, things just seem to go nowhere even after all these times.

And as I get older, I've come to realize that love isn't everything. Sure, love is the reason why people fall in love in the first place, but there are other fundamental elements as well in keeping a marriage alive. I think at some point of time, we'd both have to be realistic.

I don't know where we're headed to all of a sudden. There's just too any uncertainties clouding our relationship. At times, I stop to think that because I love you so much, I owe this to you - because I love you so much, I'd want you to find the girl who can accept you for the things you are and be satisfied with it, rather than have you die trying to be someone I want you to be.

I wished I knew the ending to our great love story. I wished I knew what to do next as well. I love you so much, and please do know that no matter what happens in the future, I will always have your back and I will always remember the beautiful memories we shared.

I love you.