and suddenly it's all coming back to me now.
what was supposed to be quite an awesome day. i shocked a patient in VT this morning. first shock in my life and he reverted to sinus rhythm :)
and then i watched avengers with my best friend kar how. awesome movie. with hot ass hunks. almost had an episode of epistaxis.
and then suddenly you had to text. and then its just this entire feeling coming back altogether. the good times, and the bad, they just come flooding back.
i almost forgot that it was your birthday today. but i remembered it at the corner of my mind. but i didn't think it would matter to you if i said happy birthday or not. who am i to kid. it's over. we moved on. you moved on.
i won't cry. no matter what life throws at me, i know you wouldn't be there anymore.
and i know i will be ok :) i do believe God hears me.
i'm gonna be ok.
April 29, 2012
April 2, 2012
the doctor
it really has been awhile? :)
feel like writing today. so many thoughts unpenned. so many things to say and yet i dont know where to start. typical. bahs.
2 months into medical posting and i just detest every minute of it. there's just this empty feeling to all of this. i am not interested in learning. i dont want to care. well basically i just don't give a fuck about anything or anyone. its becoming so mechanical that i just want to race against time to finish my work and get the hell out of the shithole place. and more like i'm doing things to avoid being yelled at by my superiors.
haematology was a freakin WASTE OF TIME. i came out of it feeling as dumb as ever. and that mental torture i had to go through every day and the numerous accusations thrown at me of which i had to take it all in silence even though it wasn't my mistake to begin with. i'm glad we came out alive. absolutely grateful for the bunch of people i went through it with :)
and then cardio came. regretting every minute of it.
and here's when i ask myself everyday, why the fuck did i do medicine and why the fuck did i decide to become a doctor.
and then, i met you.
:)
the view's better up here when you're with me :)
feel like writing today. so many thoughts unpenned. so many things to say and yet i dont know where to start. typical. bahs.
2 months into medical posting and i just detest every minute of it. there's just this empty feeling to all of this. i am not interested in learning. i dont want to care. well basically i just don't give a fuck about anything or anyone. its becoming so mechanical that i just want to race against time to finish my work and get the hell out of the shithole place. and more like i'm doing things to avoid being yelled at by my superiors.
haematology was a freakin WASTE OF TIME. i came out of it feeling as dumb as ever. and that mental torture i had to go through every day and the numerous accusations thrown at me of which i had to take it all in silence even though it wasn't my mistake to begin with. i'm glad we came out alive. absolutely grateful for the bunch of people i went through it with :)
and then cardio came. regretting every minute of it.
and here's when i ask myself everyday, why the fuck did i do medicine and why the fuck did i decide to become a doctor.
and then, i met you.
:)
the view's better up here when you're with me :)
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