most of the time work seems meaningless. i just don't care anymore about my patients, about my work, about medicine. it's come down to a point where i just do it for the sake of it. i totally don't enjoy doing medicine anymore. why do i have to put myself through all the physical and mental torments. being yelled at. being completely unappreciated no matter how much effort you put in.
like today i was at the mall with rachel and ru fah after work. and i see people walking around happily. like there isn't a care in this world. they're actually enjoying a meal. enjoying walking with families and loved ones. why is it that i don't feel the same joy. why is it that there's always something to worry about in my head with every little thing that i do.
i don't know how i'd get through all these if i didn't have you. nobody knows me like you do. nobody loves me as much as you do. ok 'cept maybe my mum. :)
today we hiked up to monkey beach. crazy dangerously challenging trail. but im glad i did it with you :) awesome day. finally felt like i could breathe in what seems to be such a long long time already!
i don't want this to ever end. please?
