first time scrubbing in! :) nervous, scared, anxious, excited gah! its all a mess! :)

although i only get to hold this and hold that (LOL), suction here and suction there but it was cool.

alrights, back to portfolio. fark that.

Gah! ObsGyn is DRAINING me. this is prolly the only free time i'll ever get ever again throughout this whole week.

it's made me think in a lot of ways. like how i definitely dont want to do O&G at any point in my life anymore. i mean i realise i'm only interested in the babies when they're out and i forget about the mother (at times more like i don't really care heeh!) and the numerous medicolegal issues (dr kathir made it so real today it really freaked me out) and the fact that every obstetrician is loose in the head. seriously.

it prolly is just too demanding to my liking. sure, i guess my life has to be dedicated to my patients. but i only have 24 hours in a day. and i am just as human as anyone else, like each of my patients too. if i don't even have time to take care of myself how am i supposed to care for them. i just suddenly found my abilities so limited :(

then again, things will get a lot more worse in the next few weeks, months and years to come. the ugly truth and reality about working in our government hospital setting.

and as dr kathir says, GET MARRIED SOON. ;)

when we're happy, we're truly happy being together. and i remember why i loved him in the first place - he makes me laugh like no other :)

i remember telling him that night when we fought, to carry on with his own plans in life, and just don't include me in it because i don't ever want to be part of it anymore because i would ocassionally get so fed up and upset. and i was just angry. pissed. and then he said, "but all along, my plan was you".

i love you.