this is pathetic isn't it. it feels as if i have noone to talk to and to cry to. writing, seems like the only way i can relieve myself from this aching endless pain that is killing me silently.

no, i do have friends. and i know they'd be willing to spend eternity telling me what's the best thing to do and to comfort me and tell me that everything will be ok along the way. it's just that i'm getting tired of myself. because i don't listen to anyone. i drown myself with my own thoughts and convince myself that basking in my own misery and sadness is the only way i could ever live again.

i do. i do that to myself all the time. all i want to do is to play sad love songs on my radio. watch sappy movies. lay on the bed and think of you. most of all, i just want to cry everyday. and feel sorry for myself.

its suicidal. i know. but its the only way for me to live, at least for now.