i stared blankly at my "new post" page for a long time. i feel like i have a lot to write. i feel like my emotions are just waiting to be drained out of me. but i can't find the right words.
it's been awhile since i have absolutely nothing to think and worry about; no qualms or whatsoever. i know it's part of being human. it's what you call "life". really, it's that cliched.
and i think my poor blog has suffered enough of mental and emotional bruises from me. all that breaking down while typing and all that release-me-from-this-pain energy radiating towards it from me. my tosh is crying too.
it's just that i don't know any happy thing worth writing in here anymore. i know i'm such a sad person really. you know what i feel like now?
i feel like dementors are creeping in on me and sucking that every last bit of happy memory out of me. yes, like all the happiness in the world is gone.
shall i at least attempt to be contented with the slightest event that spells "oh, yay?"
maybe i should.
anyways, Edinburgh has reserved a place for me to do my selectives attachment there next year July. so if everything goes well, i would finally be in Europe :) and i'd be able to travel to London and everywhere else. all the places that i've loved since forever. and if it's not asking too much of mum, i might just pop in the idea of me going to Ireland for a few days? in case you're wondering, Ireland is my favourite country since forever, with no particular reason. but if you insist, it's because that's where westlife was born, they've got splendid, panaromic views and sceneries, it's just exceptionally gorgeous. and yes, the irish accent is such a turn on. plus, the irish guys are such hotties!! mmmHMmMMM!!!
ok, so yes. i'm gonna get my documents done. my passport done. geez. yes i don't have a bloody passport. SHUT UP!!!
and cross my fingers!!
everything will be fine.
as for now, i need to think things through. if it is really what i want. i don't want to regret and wish i hadn't said that to him. i just want myself to be happy.
i deserve that little bit of happiness, do i not?
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