i wrote to you and i said, i don't know you anymore and that scares me.

it scares me because i thought i once knew you. what happened to the times that i had always known what you wanted, your thoughts, and what you were gonna do next. people change without them realising it, doesn't matter good or bad, you somehow, become a stranger to another. you may deny and put it to argue with your unfathomable opinions and thoughts. but i feel it. i feel the change.

i've never felt so much hurt and pain before. every thought of you, or at every mention of your name or face, i feel that stab, sunked deep into the core of my beating heart.

i need to get used to not hearing from you anymore, or waiting ror you to text, or call to ask what i feel like eating for dinners, or just you telling me what you were up to and asking how my day was. then again, its been ages, or so it seems, that we last did all that. i am getting there.

i asked myself hundreds and millions of times, if there was anything i could have done differently, or if there was any way i could've made you see me, hear me, or change the course of this relationship that has driven us both apart. and i realised that there was none. i have tried my best. i once gave up trying to change you a year and a half ago, but i came back because i wanted it to work so badly. but i guess, now i have to come to terms with the fact that you can't mix both tea and chocolate together. you and i will never come to a compromise. i believe in what i stand for and what i preach while you will forever be at the very end, clueless of who i am, what i am.

another 6 more weeks and we're going separate ways. i should've read this sign a long time ago. that you will never come home with me, that we will soon be far apart, drowned in our new social circle and the never-ending workload.

if we can't even make it now, i don't see how we can make it in the future.