i wished time would just stop right now. now, before i trip over and plunge into that god forsaken place.

i have chosen the profession that requires all of me. my heart, my soul, my time, and my entire life. it doesn't even matter that i don't have time for myself. but the truth is, i don't even have time for the people i love. my mum. my aunt. my cousins. my niece. my bestest of friends. it really is so difficult for them to get me to just talk and catch up. everyone says my mum calls me ten times in a day. that was once true. but now our conversations have been so scarce and so superficial that all she could ask me within that limited of time was if i had my lunch or dinner.

instead of caring for my loved ones, my life has been dedicated to serve someone else's loved ones.

i'm not hating them. i'm not mad at those who need my help. i'm just pissed and angry at myself. if only i had more than 24 hours in a day.

i miss being home. just with the people i love.

seriously, if none of you are tired of my emo posts, and my never ending woes and wails and cries for help.. well i am. jeez.. why am i such a dumb fuck.