Home soon

Forget the "mariah carey" post. It was just one of those really bad days where everything comes crashing down on you. Where everything becomes topsy turvy. Sigh. Anyways, life isn't getting that much easier. The problem with me is, I keep wanting to go out, keep wanting to stay away from my lecture notes as much as possible. More like I want to have a life. Yeah, y'all know it. Medical students are deprived of a life. It feels like a student prison here. And the more I do that, the more the notes pile up. It does get to me really, but the fact that I'm not doing anything about it just irritates myself and I'm stressed because Im just not rectifying the problem.

Then I keep wondering if medicine is really my calling. I know I want to be there. In Africa, in Iraq and all those war-torn and poverty-stricken places that you can name of. But somehow, that reason is just not strong enough to assure myself that yes, I am doing the right thing at this very moment.

I don't know if I will ever stop asking myself this very same question. I know I do it rather often, especially those whom I confide in, they'd prob have heard this a million times in a year or so. I'm just mad at myself that Im going in circles, back to the point where it all started. Circles are bad ok. Sigh again.

Anyways, Im glad Im going home this Friday for Wesak day. Really can't wait to be home with mum. I've missed Mother's day for the very first time. And I feel really, really bad. Sigh thrice.


ps: Yee Hui Fang, call me lebam again and you shall wait for the day I come back and kick your ass. Han Yin's coming back! I guess. We have to get together! No exams excuses please. Lol