i literally drag myself up every morning. and every part of me just cries in pain.

this transition from medical school and holidays, to these somewhat absurdly ridiculous and agonizing days, just kills every part of me - it feels like cancer.

don't have to remind me how i need to stop complaining and whining like geezgetalife. i'd have to work and bring the money home some day soon. and unfortunately that day has arrived. its my responsibility. its my life. i get all that.

but everytime i look back and ponder on my times in university, with you and you you you you and you, and the things we did, the laughs we laughed and the crazy shits we shared. those crazy exam moments where we had each other all the time. and that one goal that we all had. my heart would twitch. and i'd sink back into these memories etched in my heart.

the best times of my life has got to be the ones in imu. edinburgh. uk. dato's classes. even eos. holidays. bali.

as of this point, i don't know how to continue living and pretending as if everything is ok. it isn't. but i do know that i need to stop living in my past, i've got to move on.

move on, how? i've yet to figure that out. one day.

how do you pick up the pieces of the life you once knew?